Punch, or the London Charivari
Volume 105, August 5th 1893
edited by Sir Francis Burnand
THE DIRECTOR'S VADE MECUM.
- Question. What is yourduty as a Director?
- Answer. To give my nameto a prospectus.
- Q. Is there any necessaryformality before making thisdonation?
- A. Yes; I am to accept acertain number of qualifyingshares in the company obtainingthe advantage of mydirectorial services.
- Q. Need you pay for theseshares?
- A. With proper manipulation,certainly not.
- Q. What other advantageswould you secure by becominga Director?
- A. A guinea an attendance.
- Q. Anything else?
- A. A glass of sherry and asandwich.
- Q. What are your duties ata Board Meeting?
- A. To shake hands with theSecretary, and to sign anattendance book.
- Q. What are your nominalduties?
- A. Have not the faintestidea.
- Q. Would it be right toinclude in your nominal dutiesthe protection of the interestsof the shareholders?
- A. As likely as not.
- Q. Would it be overstatingthe case to say that thousandsand thousands of needy personsare absolutely ruined by theselfish inattention of a company'sdirection?
- A. Not at all—possibly understatingit.
- Q. I suppose you never reada prospectus to which you putyour name?
- A. Never.
- Q. Nor willingly wish toruin any one?
- A. No; why should I?
- Q. You are guilty of grossignorance and brutal indifference?
- A. Quite so.
- Q. And consequently knowthat, according to the view ofthe Judges, you are above thelaw?
- A. That is so.
- Q. And may therefore dowhat you like, without anydanger to your own interests?
- A. To be sure.
- Q. And consequently willdo what you best please, inspite of anything, and anybody?
- A. Why, certainly.
DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.
Stern Parent. "No wonder you look so Seedy and fit for nothing.I hear you came Home so very late last night!"
Youth (who is having his fling). "Beg your pardon, Dad, I did nothingof the sort. I came Home very early!"
At a meeting of the InternationalMaritime Congress"M. Gatto read a paper onHarbour Lights." Does thismean that one of the AdelphoiGatti read the paper (extractfrom the play, or perhaps aplay-bill) on Harbour Lights,which was an Adelphi success?Of course one of "the Gatti's"would be in the singular "M.Gatto." The paper was muchapplauded, and Gatto prendsle gâteau.
From Spirit Land.—TheSpirits or Spooks from thevasty deep that can be calledand will come when Stead-ilyand persistently summonedwill not be the first to speak.The "Spooks" w