E-text prepared by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis,
and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
The spread of influenza is said to begreatly assisted by "germ-carriers."We can't think why germs should becarried. Let 'em walk.
According to The Sunday Express ayoung American named Frisco statesthat he invented the Jazz. There wasalso a murder confession in the Press last week.
"Whitehall," says a Society organ,"has succumbed to the Jazz, the Fox-trotand the Bunny-hug." Itstill shows a decided preference,however, for the Barnacle-cling.
A man charged at the Guildhall with being drunk said hewas suffering from an attack of influenza and had takensome whisky. Yes, but where from?
We understand that the heading, "Whisky for Influenza,"which appeared in a daily paper the other day,misled a great number of sufferers, who at once wroteto say that they were prepared to make the exchange.
It is good to know that a perfectly noiseless motor carhas been produced. Even that nasty grating sound experiencedby pedestrians when being run over by a car is saidto have been eliminated.
Shrove Tuesday passed almost unheeded. Even thepancake thrown to the boys at Westminster School in thepresence of the KING and QUEEN appeared to fall flat.
We are glad to learn that the littleKensington boy who was tossed by ahuge pancake on Shrove Tuesday isstated to be going on nicely.
Five hundred and twenty-sevenpounds of American bacon have beendeclared unfit for food by the Marylebonemagistrate. Why this invidiousdistinction?
"A man," says Mr. Justice KUNKELof Pennsylvania, "has full rights in hisown home against everyone but hiswife." It is surmised that his Honournever kept a cook.
We are informed that the disputebetween the Ministry of Labour andthe Irish Clerical Workers' Union hasbeen settled by the latter name beingchanged to the "Irish Clerical Employees' Union."
Mr. LLOYD GEORGE is said to favourthe creation of a new Order for deservingWelshmen. The revival of theOrder of the Golden Fleece is suggested.
A writer in a ladies' journal refers to the present fashion of "satin-walnuthair." We have felt for some time that mahogany had had its day.
Charged at Hove with bigamy a soldierstated that he remembered nothingabout his second marriage and pleadedthat he was absent-minded. A verygood plan is to tie a knot in your boot-laceevery time you get married.
A sorry blow has been dealt at thosewho maintain we are not a commercialrace. "You gave me prussic acid inmistake for quinine this morning," aman told a chemist the other day."Is that so?" said the chemist; "thenyou owe me another twopence."
For the benefit of those about toemigrate we have pleasure in furnishingthe exclusive information that veryshortly there will be big openings inAmerica for corkscrew-straighteners.
We are now able to state that thewedding of Princess PATRICIA andCommander RAMSAY passed off withouta hymeneal ode from the POET LAUREATE.
We understand that a lady operatorwho was impudent to the DistrictSupervisor on the telephone the otherda