a little knowledge
BY RUSS WINTERBOTHAM
Earthmen were considered
stupid. But they knew something
that the alien didn't—and
about his own planet!
[Transcriber's Note: This etext was produced from
Worlds of If Science Fiction, December 1956.
Extensive research did not uncover any evidence that
the U.S. copyright on this publication was renewed.]
Even with modern conveniences, Caesar could never have staged such atriumph, and in the face of world history-making, he wouldn't havereason to. Olbu's visit to the earth was certainly a bigger deal forthe archives than anything Caesar ever did.
"No one can say you aren't a good sport," commended Ralph Rodkey ofthe Interstate Broadcasting Network. "You had plenty of reason to beannoyed, especially when the mob tried to tear your clothes off. But,the people meant no harm; they just adore you."
Olbu had learned English overnight and mastered it. He hardly had anaccent: "I was a little disturbed, you might say."
"Well, our people are hero worshippers," Rodkey explained. "Andyou're certainly a hero, being the first man from off the Earth toland on the Earth, you might say. And then too, given an opportunityto celebrate, an Earthman will take full advantage of the slightestexcuse."
"Rather barbaric," said Olbu. "But then this is a barbaric planet."
"Uh? Oh, yes. Just joking, of course. Now we're about ready forour telecast with Cecil Burroughs, the greatest commentator in thebusiness. You'll appear with one of our leading scientists."
"I hope he can understand the things I shall talk about."
"We may not know much about space flight, but we know a lot of things,my boy," said Rodkey.
"You say you don't travel in space as yet?"
"No, and you're the first visitor from space we've had. You see, noplanets of this solar system are inhabited by intelligent forms oflife."
"You can say that again," said Olbu.
"With the exception of the Earth, of course." Rodkey laughed. "We werevery thrilled to have someone drop in on us."
"How strange!"
"In fact, many of our people figured that Man was unique. They thoughthe couldn't exist anywhere but here."
"It would be nice if such were the case," said Olbu. "But I'm afraidthe galaxy is not so fortunate. Many planets have men. Some are morelike men than others, if you understand what I mean. But they all havehis chief faults and good points."
Rodkey had arranged for the interview in the Presidential suite of theClaremont Hotel and in the next room electricians were busy setting upthe equipment. Presently the door opened and a man of about 50, cleanshaven and slightly bald, paused in the doorway. He looked at theconfusion for a moment, hesitated as if he were checking an impulse toflee, then spotted Rodkey through the bedroom door.
"Dr. Bruber!" exclaimed Rodkey.
Dr. Alymir Bruber beamed, extended his hand and strode forward.
He tripped over a cable, but caught himself on the doorframe withnothing worse than a bumped shoulder.
Rodkey pumped his hand enthusiastically. "It's been a long time,Doctor!" he said, slapping him on the shoulder. "Remember, we met whenI interviewed you on the nervous electron factor of your diatomicequivalent energy principle back in '96."
"Oh," said Bruber. "Yes, I remember you well." He turned his headtoward Olbu. One glance would have convinced anyone that Olbu was fromspace—or at least another planet. He had an unusually large head,small neck, skinny arms and legs and