PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 147
September 9, 1914.
CHARIVARIA.
The Deutsche Tageszeitung says:—"Ourpresent war with England shallnot be done by halves; it is no war tobe stopped by 'notice,' but by a propersettlement. Otherwise the peace weall desire would be both rotten anddangerous." Your wish shall berespected, Deutsche Tageszeitung.
The fines which Germany has beenimposing so lavishly on towns andprovinces will, a commercial friendinforms us, ultimately proveto be what are known in Citycircles as "temporary loans."
By the way, The Globe tellsus that the Kaiser was onceknown to his English relativesas "The Tin Soldier."In view of his passion forraising tin by these predatorymethods this title mightbe revived.
The German threat thatthey will make "Gurken-salad"of the Goorkhas,leaves these cheery littlesportsmen undismayed.
We give the rumour forwhat it is worth. It is saidthat, overcome with remorseat the work of his vandalsat Louvain, the Kaiser haspromised when the war isover to present the city witha colossal monument of himself.
Meanwhile President Wilsonis being urged by innumerabletourist agenciesin his country to stop thewar before any more historicalbuildings are demolished.
A number of the more valuable ofthe pictures in the Louvre have, witha view to their safety, been placed incellars. La Gioconda is to be internedat an extra depth, as being peculiarlyliable to be run away with.
Strangely enough, the most heroicsingle-handed feat of the war seemsonly to have been reported in one paper,The Express. We refer to the followingannouncement:—
By J. A. Sinclair Pooley
Express Correspondent."
It is stated that the German barqueExcelsior, bound for Bremen with avaluable cargo, has been captured byone of our cruisers. It speaks well forthe restraint of our Navy that, with sotempting a name, she was not blown up.
A proposal has been made in TheGlobe that all "alien enemies" in thiscountry shall be confined within compoundsuntil the end of the War.Suggested alteration in the NationalAnthem: "Compound his enemies."
"Carry on" is no doubt an admirablemotto for these times, but the SpecialConstable who was surprised by hiswife while carrying on with a cook(which he thought to be part of hisprofessional duty) complains that it ismisleading.
We hear that some of our Nutshave volunteered to serve as regimentalpets.
Partridge shooting began last week,but poor sport is recorded. The birdsdeclare that it is not their fault. Theyturned up in large numbers, but therewere not enough guns to make it worthwhile.
The Gibraltar Manner.
Ladies Making Garments."
