CONTENTS
| Page | |
| Let Dad and Son Beware! | 2 |
| Advents and Public Plunderers. | 3 |
| The Mayor and Charley. | 6 |
| Life of Stephen H. Branch. | 8 |
Volume I.—No. 4.]——SATURDAY, MAY 15, 1858.——[Price 2 Cents.
STEPHEN H. BRANCH’S
ALLIGATOR.
Let Dad and Son Beware!
Peter Cooper and Mayor Tiemann are oldand sacred friends of George W. Matsell, whoare more familiar with each other than theyare with the Bible, or morning and eveningprayers. Mayor Tiemann was elected withthe express condition that Matsell shouldbe restored to his old position, and PeterCooper and Mayor Tiemann, and James W.Gerard, and Ambrose C. Kingsland are at workfor their lives to effect the restoration of Matsell,and all impends on the election of a Commissionerin place of the noble Perrit. Matsellwas in the city at the last Mayoralty election,conspiring against Wood, who saved himfrom the scaffold, after we convicted him ofalienage and perjury, and the dastard andsacrilegious abjuration of his country. Andat the late election, he stabbed his benefactordown in the dust, in the assassin’s darkness,and did not play Brutus for the public virtue,but to consummate his restoration to an office(he had always degraded) which was in thecontract between himself and Cooper, Tiemann,Gerard, and Kingsland, and other slavishfriends. We know them all and the rendezvousof all their kindred Diavolos, whosenames would fill the jaws of the Alligator.Matsell professed to enter the city from Iowawith flags and music on the day after Tiemann’selection, but he was in the city longbefore, and concealed in as dark a cavern asthe odious Cataline, while conspiring to foilthe patriotic Cicero, and consign the eternalcity to a million thieves. And we now warnCooper, Tiemann, Gerard, and Kingsland tobeware. For if they foist Matsell on the citythrough the purchase of Nye or Bowen withMayoralty, Street Commissioner, or the pap ofthe Mayor’s Executive vassals, we will makedisclosures that will make them stare likeaffrighted cats, (Gerard a la he-cat, and theothers a la she-cats,) and rock the city to itscarbonic entrails. Talmadge must remain, althoughhe annoyed his nurse and mother whena brat, and so did we; and in boyhood andearly manhood we both had worms, and raisedSancho Panza,
And we rambled around the town,
And saw perhaps Miss Julia Brown,
as we may develop in the publication of ourfunny reminiscences; but we are both growingold, and told our experience at the recentrevival, and asked admission as pious pilgrims,when the deacons said that we should both beput on five year’s trial, but we begged so hardthey let us in. Talmadge joined the Presbyterians,and he looks pale and pensive, butwe joined the noisy Methodis