PUNCH,
OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
Vol. 159.
29th December, 1920.
CHARIVARIA.
No newspapers were published onSaturday, Sunday or Monday. We didnot begrudge them their holiday, butwe do think The Daily Mail might haveissued occasional bulletins respectingthe weather at Thanet, as we considerthree days is too long to keep theirreaders in suspense.
The most popular indoor game thiswinter seems to be Battledore-and-Juttlecock.
A woman informed a London magistratelast Tuesday that her husbandthrashed her at Easter, Whitsuntideand on August BankHoliday. Our thoughtswere constantly withher during the recentYuletide festivities.
Readers should notbe alarmed if a curiousrustling noise is heardnext Saturday morning.It will be simply thesound of new leaves beingturned over.
In view of the possibleincrease of theirsalaries it is not theintention of Membersof Parliament to solicitChristmas-boxes.Householders, therefore,should be on theirguard against men passingthemselves off asM.P.s.
Our attention is drawnto the fact that the latestphotograph of Mr. Lloyd Georgeshows him to be smoking a cigar withthe band on. We can only say thatCromwell wouldn't have done it.
Our magistrates appear to be madeof poor stuff these days. A man namedSnail was last week summoned beforethe Feltham magistrates for exceedingthe speed limit, yet no official joke wasmade. Incidentally, why is it thatMr. Justice Darling never gets a realchance like this?
A New York policeman has beenarrested in the act of removing a safefrom a large drapery store. It is saidthat upon being seen by another policemanhe offered to run and fetch a burglar.
Mme. Delysia has been bitten by adog in New York. The owner's defence,that the animal had never tastedfamous dancer before, is not likely to beaccepted.
Like a soothing balm just before theold year dies comes the intimation fromMr. Lovat Fraser that there is a brightside to things.
With reference to the opening of thepantomime season it is reported thata couple of new jokes have been foundnesting in a Glasgow theatre.
Psychologists are inclined to attributethe recent night stampede of sheep inthe Midlands, when thousands of themjumped their hurdles, to the influenceof a large number of people concentratingon a well-known remedy for sleeplessness.
It is stated that rabies does notexist in Ireland. Our opinion is thatit wouldn't be noticed if it did.
Very few English Christmas customs,we hear, are prevalent out in Russia.We have always felt that the custom ofclients giving Christmas-boxes to theirexecutioners will never become verypopular.
It is rumoured that the repeatedassassinations of General Villa havemade it necessary for him to resign hisposition as Permanent Chief Insurgentto the State of Mexico.
The Morning Post has remarked thatnowadays the Eton boy is often reducedto travelling third-class. It is hoped topersuade Sir Eric Geddes to disguisehimself as an Eton boy during the holidaysto see how it feels.
It is now admitted that the plum-puddingwhich was badly mauled by a